History’s greatest lovers – Sex animals you should know about (part one)


History’s greatest lovers – Sex animals you should know about (part one)

Long time ago when there was no electricity and humans didn’t live long enough to see their offspring hit puberty, everyone was engaged in sex games, wars and public executions. Free time had completely different meaning and importance than today, and most of the people spent it fucking each other in darkness, spreading germs and incurable diseases. Sounds fun! Here’s the first part of the list of people who fucked around the most.

King Solomon (about 973 – 933 BC)

The son of King David, the third king of Israel who reigned for forty years and during that time had about 700 women and between 60 and 200 mistresses. He loved to sleep with women from for away lands, and some of his marriages were made for political and business reasons only (a common practice even today). Apparently, among his wives there were several of the prettiest women of that era.

Cleopatra (69 – 30 BC)

Although she was not so remarkably pretty, she was one of the most attractive women in her time and was very skilled in making love. Ever since the age of 12 when she met her first lover, Cleopatra used sex as a powerful tool, but also for personal satisfaction. Allegedly, she established a small temple where dozens of young men were given various aphrodisiacs to stay in shape, so she could practice erotic skills she learned from famous prostitutes in Alexandria. Cleopatra was apparently able to have sex with about 100 men during one night. Tell this to your wife the next time she’s feeling tired.

Empress Theodora (508-548)

Because of this young actress from Constantinople the ancient Roman law which forbade the senators to marry actresses was changed. Theodora, a woman of great beauty, intellect and strong will, propagated the great moral reform after she married Emperor Justinian, and at the same time she kept the status of “Protector of unfaithful wives”. In order not to violate the current law which prohibited nudity, Theodora would wrap only a narrow band around her body. During picnics in Roman woods and suburbs, she would have sex with at least ten noblemen in one night, then the next day she would do the same with thirty slaves.

Queen Nzinga (17th century)

The ruler of present-day Angola was one of the harshest nymphos, equally mad like the legendary Amazons (a legend says they’ve mutilated their men because, allegedly, cripples were the best lovers). Queen Nzinga had the entire male harem out of which she’d select two men who then fought to death. The winner would spend the night with Nzinga, who then had him killed the next morning. And like that wasn’t sick enough, she ran around killing pregnant women in her tribe because of jealousy. Nzinga was a total bad girl until she was 77 years old when she converted to Christianity.